I didn’t realize how much I looked forward to Tuesday evenings.  As usual I walked into the Chatterbox Cafe in Long Grove and looked for a seat.  The place always gets crowed on taco Tuesdays, cheap taco night.  When the small tables are taken along two sides of the room, I find a place at the bar.  The female bar tender recognizes me, and immediately comes over with a Blue Moon beer in hand, which she opens, pours into the tall glass, and then clips an orange slice to the rim.  She knows that I always order three tacos, usually two fish, and one beef.  It feels “right” to be seated here.  Sometimes Steve, the owner comes over and we usually exchange opinions about business conditions in town.  Steve has an outgoing demeanor, and easily makes me feel welcome.  Clearly he finds the responsibility of ownership of this business agreeable.  He enjoys his work.  There is little turnover with his employees.

This is one of those moments when I ask myself, ‘how did I get here?’  I grew up in a working class Southern town, Durham North Carolina.  My parents did factory work for two big cigarette manufacturing companies.  I was taken to church as usual three times a week.  Sunday school, then Sunday morning worship service, Sunday evening preaching service, and midweek prayer meeting.  I learned that the most important thing to understand about life, is a person’s relationship to God. Obedience to God’s Word (the caps are intentional) is the highest priority.  What does that mean?

It means avoiding places like the Chatterbox Café.  It means being suspicious of Steve, the bar keeper, and of anyone I might happen to meet that I have not seen in a while at the Chatterbox.  It means staying away from alcohol, from the sensuality of good conversation, …… It means avoiding “loose” women.  It means suspicion that the woman tending bar who kindly brings me a Blue Moon before I order, has commitments and values opposite of my own.  I means going without the palpable comfort of belonging, being human in common with others, that fills the room at the Chatterbox Café.

My God! What have I done?

To better make the point — this tune by Talking Heads.  This was recorded Live: 11/4/1980 – Capitol Theatre – Passaic, NJ.

Life like music, is best lived, experienced — live.

As always, lyrics follow the youtube video.

Once In A Lifetime

By Talking Heads

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, “Well… how did I get here?”

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

And you may ask yourself, “How do I work this?”
And you may ask yourself, “Where is that large automobile?”
And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful house”
And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful wife”

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was

Water dissolving and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Under the water, carry the water
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, into the silent water
Under the rocks and stones, there is water underground
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

And you may ask yourself, “What is that beautiful house?”
And you may ask yourself, “Where does that highway go to?”
And you may ask yourself, “Am I right? Am I wrong?”
And you may say to yourself, “My God! What have I done?”

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, into the silent water
Under the rocks and stones, there is water underground
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was and look where my hand was
Time isn’t holding up, time isn’t after us
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Letting the days go by, same as it ever was

Here a twister comes, here comes the twister
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Once in a lifetime, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by