Plague Journal, The Backward Look
The essay was entitled Against Cheerfulness, written by a female philosopher, Mariana Alessandri. Only a female would have the fortitude to mount an assault upon the Boy Scout code. Often it is from the outside that one is able to see more clearly. Especially an attack that illuminates the fault line between the admonition to cheerfulness, and the meaning of the bond between the scout and this country. The scouting ethos, love of country, and Christian morality have become indistinguishable. Alessandri points out the ersatz and brittle reality behind the facade of cheer, a cheerfulness projected to deceive, the tactic of denial of the numerous abrasive experiences and disappointments that constitute life.
I immediately related to the thesis of the essay. I can testify that there is indeed a short link between “keeping up appearances” and what is understood as Christian morality. Even after so many years I still feel disappointment, indignation at the bastardization, the marketing-on-the-cheap of the practice for which Jesus lived and died. Jesus was anything but “a power of positive thinking” kind of individual. Growing up in a backwater Roman colony, under military occupation, — his thinking was rigorously reality based, and frankly subversive. He knew things were not going to get better, that internal resources of compassion, of forgiveness were all that could be counted upon.
These lines from T.S. Eliot’s great poem, The Dry Salvages, are reminiscent of Jesus perspective.
II
The backward look behind the assurance
Of recorded history, the backward half-look
Over the shoulder, towards the primitive terror.
Now, we come to discover that the moments of agony
(Whether, or not, due to misunderstanding,
Having hoped for the wrong things or dreaded the wrong things,
Is not in question) are likewise permanent
With such permanence as time has. We appreciate this better
In the agony of others, nearly experienced,
Involving ourselves, than in our own.
For our own past is covered by the currents of action,
But the torment of others remains an experience
Unqualified, unworn by subsequent attrition.
People change, and smile: but the agony abides.
To conclude: concerning the range of behaviors inherent within human nature, the rule-of-thumb ought to be “never mind the smile.” The smile is most often a thin veil, a pleasant illusion, presented as a social lubricant. The reality of life is more complex, and almost certainly tinged with a degree of pain.
For your enjoyment and contemplation I offer this tune which I have loved for many years. I have often thought to myself as I listened, ‘this could be the theme song of my life’. I make the statement though I’ve not had a similar experience, of an irreplaceable love that I lost. Yet, there’s a truthful texture, a tone of sadness conveyed by tune and lyric.
I’m In Trouble Again
by the Bodeans
I never was good at being good
I was never very kind
And if I said you’re the only one
Well, baby, I was lying
And I never did take to holding you
The way a man should
Ever since you left me, babe
Well, I ain’t been very good
I’m in trouble again
I’m in trouble again
Ever since you left me, baby
You should see the shape I’m in
I think about the times you held me up
And kept me on my feet
Haven’t really sunk this low
I don’t give a damn about me
It’s hard to love a losing man
Much harder than you think
You have to tear yourself away
Before you both start to stink
I’m in trouble again
I’m in trouble again
Ever since you left me, baby
You should see the shape I’m in
Many is the time I lied awake
Shivering in the cold black night
Never is the time I tell myself
Hey, it’s gonna be all right
And I wish I could’ve took to holding you
The way a man should
Ever since you left me, baby
Well, I ain’t been very good
I’m in trouble again
I’m in trouble again
Ever since you left me, baby
You should see the shape I’m in
Lyrics by Kurt Neumann, Sam Llanas
2 thoughts on “Plague Journal, The Backward Look”
“Hey! How are you?” we ask each other upon meeting, yet how many of us really want to know? The greeting has become the ubiquitous standard phrase that is akin to tipping one’s hat or the waving of a hand. Familial and rote, like a scripted pitch by a telephone sales person, yet hollow and impersonal. Perhaps this is a part of the forced cheerfulness you mention.
When I see a friend with whom I have not spoken to for awhile, I ask, “How are you?” expecting a response that actually communicates something of their physical or mental well-being. If they say “Fine” I will most likely press them to elaborate, at which point most people realize I’m actually asking how they are doing relative to the mechanical standard greeting.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we were actually concerned about one another and prepared to hear what is actually going on, for better or for worse. On Sunday I spoke with a friend who I have known for over 50 years. I knew he had been struggling with ailments, yet I was not prepared to hear that his doctors had just told him he has a week to live. But I wanted to know. We have always been pragmatic and straightforward with each other and this was no different. This kind of direct communication is something that I have always appreciated having with my friend, so I could tell him that I will miss him and how much he means to me without becoming maudlin or avoiding the elephant in the room.
In the end, isn’t this all that we ever really want from our friends; honesty, compassion, empathy and an ability to really listen and comprehend what we are saying to each other? That may not be cheerfulness, but it is certainly a positive, life-affirming way of communicating.
Tobin, some thoughtful reflections upon our standard ritual of social convention. We are all more distracted than is the norm by all that is happening now, the virus is something that as of yet, we have no control over. And there is no outside, no place of refuge, no quarter from which we might expect help. it is understandable that your focus upon a standard “how are you” greeting was dissipated. I think it is salutary to feel regret about that. We learn from experience. I am sad to hear that you will lose a friend of 50 years duration. Such losses are unreplacable. Nothing can substitute for that kind of history, so many miles traveled in good company. How do I deal with this mortality? I do not think that we do.
This morning I read three articles culled from the latest issue of the Atlantic. In general our condition under the coronavirus threat fills me with a sadness that I cannot describe. Face to face communication, the basic pleasure of tactile presence has transformed from a positive to a potential deadly experience. What manner of society can be built upon such a foundation of absence, of electronically mediated information apart from the full bandwidth utility and pleasure of the presence of other human beings? I miss the experience of a Starbucks filled with the buzz of conversation rising from tables filled with strangers. My better judgment tells me this is not merely a missed luxury, something easily eliminated, — but a kind of phenomena crucial to emotional well being, and to the level of mutual regard/trust that is the heart of a functioning democratic society. We must solve the technical problem of a vaccine and a treatment for covid-19. And we must solve the more difficult problem of the erosion of trust in government, and remove a party that is unable to govern and a president who reflexively lies as his approach to governance.