A Birthday
April 1, 1949 was the day that I was born. I seldom think about it. In past years often I needed a reminder, “Isn’t today your birthday?’ World War II concluded on September 2nd 1945 with the surrender of Japan. Germany surrendered earlier in May. I was born soon after the second great war of the 20th century. The GIs were coming home, and my mother was to meet my dad after moving from the Johnson County farm to Durham. She literally started her life over. Her first husband had been killed in a auto accident after just a few months of marriage. She explained to me that a tire failure was involved, because “car tires were not very good during the war.” In a strange, tragic fashion the war played a role in my being here.
Birthdays are intended to be the occasion of celebration. On balance it is salutary to be here, in contrast to not being here, or to having not been at all. Conventionally a birthday is a opportunity to celebrate relationships with family and friends. Surely a definition of good fortune has to be the proximity of others who hold one in respect and affection. This is not a difficult with children as most are pleasant to be around and laugh easily. For many of us adults, having friends that hold us in regard, and family members who continue to tolerate us and love us, is more difficult to come by. Life is a mix of good times and bad, and the bad can leave scars, damage to one’s personality. “Grumpy old men” is not just a euphemism.
A thought has come often lately, that we really ought to be more kind to ourselves. I am sure that is a remembered word of advice from teachers, therapists, friends in the past who risked to speaking the truth. They said out loud what they thought that I needed to hear. Are not teachers, therapists, and friends often the same individual?
Here are images of two birthday cards that I received yesterday. The cards were given by two friends with whom I have worked for many years. We have kept company for a long time. The card selection is indicative of the distinct personality of each of these individuals.
One of the cards conveyed a gift of words, a quotation from Simone Weil:
Love for our neighbor,
being made of creative attention,
is analogous to genius.
–Simone Weil
