Six of us, a wide ranging discussion last night.  The topic was death; more precisely, pondering whether death gives meaning to life.  The discussion was satisfying.   We did not resolve the matter after an hour and a half of back and forth.  Briefly in the midst of the session we touched on guns, mass shootings, the gun business, etc.  We did not completely leave the designated pathway of discussion, since gun violence lately, competes as a major occasion for departing this world.

The gist of our exchange came down to the loss involved for each of us, as death approaches.  Death is unavoidable for all living.  Humans, perhaps alone among the species anticipate death.  We would avoid death if that were possible.  Many attempt to deny contemplation of the subject, and conversation is difficult.  There are circumlocutions which we use to lend a patina to this irrevocable ending.  I am drawn by the manner of speaking featured by the Buddhist tradition:  to pass-over to the other shore, and being “blown out” as a candle flame.

Would I want to live forever?  If I could live on indefinitely, would I change my mind at some indeterminate time in the future?  Without a terminus of death, would life lose definition?

“Chance,” or as the ancients termed it, “fate” always has a role to play in life and in death.  I have witnessed several approach the threshold of death.  In memory these seemed horrific to myself as observer.  Was the experience even worse, much worse for the suffering individuals, as body and mind hour by hour lost function?  I do not think that any of us have a choice as to the manner and time of our death.  Feeling that we do is no evidence to the affirmative.

Death became more real to me upon the passing of my mother, a number of years ago.  She was lucky.  She lived a long life, and had a “good” death.  Death came quickly to her, without inordinate suffering.  In the course of our discussion which touched upon how individual death is, as if unique to each individual, I remembered the loss of my mother.  I continue to feel her absence, or better put, her presence in absence.

Here is a poem which I wrote upon the death of another family member in February of 2008.

Friend Death

Death waits to embrace
Release from a decrepit body
Respite for a terror riven mind

Blessed portal of peace
Gather us to our ancestors
Completing our portion
In this beloved earth

Amen.

---

A song is called for, something by which to tie ourselves together, so that we can proceed with strength and courage along the precious journey of life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uedL_XrSf1A

New York Minute

By The Eagles

Harry got up
Dressed all in black
Went down to the station
And he never came back
They found his clothing
Scattered somewhere down the track
And he won’t be down on Wall Street
In the morning

He had a home
The love of a girl
But men get lost sometimes
As years unfurl
One day he crossed some line
And he was too much in this world
But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore

In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Things can get pretty strange
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute

Lying here in the darkness
I hear the sirens wail
Somebody going to emergency
Somebody’s going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hang on tooth and nail
The wolf is always at the door

In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Things can get a little strange
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute

And in these days
When darkness falls early
And people rush home
To the ones they love
You better take a fool’s advice
And take care of your own
One day they’re here;
Next day they’re gone

I pulled my coat around my shoulders
And took a walk down through the park
The leaves were falling around me
The groaning city in the gathering dark
On some solitary rock
A desperate lover left his mark,
“Baby, I’ve changed. Please come back.”

What the head makes cloudy
The heart makes very clear
The days were so much brighter
In the time when she was here
But I know there’s somebody somewhere
Make these dark clouds disappear
Until that day, I have to believe
I believe, I believe

In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
You can get out of the rain
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute

Lyrics by Don Henley