Attempting to wrap my mind around this insight – I inwardly shiver.

To become well educated in the contemporary sense means a grasp of cause and effect, of a mechanical notion of reality, that events, even occasions of unspeakable enormity, of power so destructive that ordinary words cannot serve, – are no longer divine like, or a divine manifestation.  The real is a complicated, wave-like, transmission of energy, that ebb and flow upon which life depends, takes advantage of…

The old gods, (or God) is nowhere to be found in your mind/heart if you’ve been introduced, have absorbed this discourse, this interpretive matrix of sorting experience.

I remember my form of life as a Evangelical Christian. Was I in “the will of God” for my life? I could never be certain of what that zone, the euphemism meant. I had no doubt that God was involved in the course of my life. Still I pondered, rummaged my imagination and memory speculating that some random happening involving me, was a sign of God’s approval, or more likely, a divine caution, a “thumbs down.”

“An enormous number of imaginary causalities” have been eliminated as I have changed. My educated self no longer lives in the old world. A parking lot minor fender-bender isn’t a divine tap on my shoulder…

Nietzsche insists I ask myself what have I lost, what must I do without as a consequence of the sea change? On the plus side, I am without the constant anxiety of receiving a divine failing grade. My life isn’t a matter of interpreting obscure signals. And what about the other side of the ledger? The books must balance, you know. On the other side, morality, living with propriety no longer originates from divine authority, divinely tethered, and it is up to me. It is entirely up to me… 

To what am I finally obligated as now I am the author of my one (and only) life? Is any reverence left? And before ________ do I bow my head in reverence?

To feel reverence is to be rooted in Being…

Sometimes, now I am beleaguered by vertigo.

As the sense of causality
increases,
so does the extent of the domain of morality
decrease:

for every time one has been able to grasp the necessary effects,
and to conceive them as distinct
from all incidentals and chance possibilities (post hoc),
one has, at the same time,
destroyed an enormous number of imaginary causalities,
which had hitherto been believed in as the basis of morals

—the real world is much smaller
than the world of our imagination

—and each time also one casts away
a certain amount
of one’s anxiousness and coercion,
and some of our reverence for the authority of custom is lost:

morality in general undergoes a diminution.

He who, on the other hand,
wishes to increase it

must know how to prevent results
from becoming controllable.

The Dawn of the Day by Friedrich Nietzsche, trans. by J. M. Kennedy, aphorism 10

There’s always time for a song. This one stands in my mind/heart as typical of a this-world gaze. To what do I bow in reverence? This. And you?