Light of the Stars asked Non-being,
“Master, do you exist or do you not exist?”

Light of the Stars received no reply and, gazing intensely
into the appearance of Non-being, saw that it was a deep void.
All day he looked at it but could see nothing; he listened for it
but could hear nothing; he reached out for it but there was
nothing to hold.

Light of the Stars then said, “This the highest state!
Who can attain this state! I can exist in non-being but
I cannot be non-existent in non-being.
Beyond this there is non-existence in existence
— how might one attain this state?”

Zhuangzi trans. by Hyunn Höchsmann and Yang Guorong, Book 22 Knowledge Wanders in the North

While reading the Tao Te Ching, eighty one spare and poetic verses attributed to Lao Tsu or reading the Zhuangzi, the equally important Taoist text that imbues Chinese culture and thought- the reader must feel confused at points. If you are not befuddled from time to time, you are missing the point.

My morning habit of writing was upended today upon discovery that my copy of Zhuangzi was not in my computer bag. Another project filled the early Starbucks time, so here I am now, opposite the glowing laptop screen. Life is no different, sometimes we get what we expect. Soon enough though what we thought we knew, what we depended upon, turns out to be otherwise. I reach into my bag and come up with a orange covered book, and not the green covered one…

The parable/story quoted from Zhuangzi illustrates that being, everything is in a state of change. We depend upon a self-agent that controls what it knows. Ironically the knowing-controlling-self finds what was assumed to be fixed, settled, under control, has become something other. Imagine that you stand on the bridge of a ship peering intensely into a fog – and nothing, no land. Or imagine a child losing his bearings in a forest, screaming for his father – hearing no reply.

Such experiences are a clue of something else, than assuming a binary, either existence or non-existence. At the atomic heart of all matter, absolutely everything existing at root is a multi-wave form of energy. Nothing to see, to hear or to hold, – just a swarm of wave-like dance,  yes a dance. And everything effects everything else in some way depending on the relationship.

Here you and I are: selves, agents in the middle of this utterly wild, undefinable, probablistic dance.

I do ex-ist! And you too my friend!

Even if confused we are invited to celebrate, join the dance…

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A song, a tune to inspire! This one is a standard, Time Is On My Side by the Rolling Stones.