I like to lie here where the children play,
beside the ruined wall,
among thistles and red poppies.

I am still a scholar to the children,
and also to the thistles and red poppies.
They are innocent, even in their wickedness.

But to the sheep I am no longer a scholar:
so it is as my destiny!

–may fortune favor me nevertheless!

Freedom do I love,
and a breeze over the good earth;
why I’d prefer to rest on a camp bed
than upon their awards and prestige.

I am too hot and scorched with my own thoughts:
too often my breath is taken away.
Then I head into the open air,
away from dim, dingy study rooms.

But they [scholars] sit comfortable in the cool shade:
they always want to be only
spectators,

and they avoid sitting
where the sun burns on the steps.

Like those who stand in the street
to gape at passers-by:
thus do they also wait, and wait,
still to gape at the thoughts
which others have thought.

…We are foreign to each other,
and by their good points I am even more repulsed
than by their misdirection and loaded dice.

When I was housed with them,
then I lived ”above” them.

Because of that
they took a dislike to me.
They will not abide anyone walking above their heads;
so they put wood and earth and rubbish
between me and their heads.

On any case I walk with my thoughts
above their heads;
and even should I walk on my own mistakes,
still I would be above them
and their heads.

For men/women are not equal: so speaks justice.
And what I will, (mine alone)
they may not will!

–Thus spoke Zarathustra.

Thus Spake Zarathustra, by Friedrich Nietzsche, trans. by Thomas Common, Part II Scholars, page 123-124

I was asked by my oldest daughter how much further did I need in order to have a Phd. She remembered that I had dropped out of a program at Northwestern. Working toward a doctorate is not a simple thing. It is meant to be arduous. Motivation at a high level is essential. One’s motivation changes day to day as life and circumstance vary. Everything has it’s time. In retrospect I feel no regrets.

The quotation that I chose for today is a look-back by Nietzsche at his career as a scholar. Nietzsche was appointed professor of classical philology in 1869 at the young age of 24. He taught at Basil University for ten years. In 1879 he resigned citing his worsening health and disillusionment with institutionalized scholarship. In retrospect it’s clear that he really wanted to write full time. And so he did.

I have taken liberty to smooth out the language of the translation, recognizing the influence of my own departure from academia. The arc of one’s life is inscribed within the prologue of family, genetics, and the unaccountable randomness of circumstance. What if? Small things may become amplified to make a big difference. Or even becoming inconsequential.

One thing is certain, as far as I know, to echo Nietzsche/Zarathustra: each of us is his/her distinct person, different from anyone else.

There is a beauty, something majestic about that.