“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.”

— Kierkegaard

Well, which is it, what fate am I going to choose? To dare is to lose for the moment. Choose not, – and you lose yourself.

Frankly I do not know if a “choice” at all is on offer. Is the sense of option nothing except but my mind’s futile desire? Is it inevitable that my choice in fact has precursor to the history of ancestors, the events that constrained my father’s formative years, a child without a father, he knew work, and cold, and the feeling “of not having enough..?” Then thinking back one more generation, I have no detail whatsoever about my father’s father’s life. Why did my grandfather leave his family?

Life asks me to dispose of myself, to roll the dice one more time, to chose where to focus my interest, dedication of time and resources… But is “the choosing” nothing else but playing a hand that has already been dealt?

I had to ask. And I’ll never know.

Again, go ahead and decide!  Blue pill or red pill.

I’ve always picked the red, and that has nothing to do with anything so trivial as what color is the favorite. I have always loved blue. But I’ve always picked red. I cannot imagine life without the fight. Discovery of “what’s real” has effected me in ways I did not imagine.

The verdict is in, a resolution, a diagnosis to be accepted: I am going to die. You, my friend are dying while you read this.

Die on your feet. Or die with your “head up your ass” in panicked retreat from your fate.

-*-

What I really need is to get clear about what I must do, not what I must know, except insofar as knowledge must precede every act. What matters is to find a purpose, to see what it really is that God wills that I shall do; the crucial thing is to find a truth which is truth for me, to find the idea for which I am willing to live and die.”

— Kierkegaard

Another tune to accompany you and I while we journey on. There Goes My Baby by d4vd.

Some, – or many things are “out of our reach.” Pain and acceptance go together. Is that what we mean by  freedom?