Are You Not Entertained?
The well of desire!
Am I falling into a well? Or like Moses, am I to ascend? Do I rise to a divine calling?
What metaphor best describes the palpable sensation of absence, some “thing” that is missing, a loss that must be sought after? How many ways to describe the quest, that ends only when the journey is done, by accident or by age induced breakdown of the biological vehicle, this body with five sense receptors, and a central processing mind…
Words are colors on a palate. Through engagement with others you get a bigger box of crayons. The breadth and depth of possibility of expression grows. How do I express to myself the fact of my desire? I remember a time when desire was a rotating hairball of sorts, and I felt suffocated. Now the difference, primarily the result of many years of sorting through, with a great deal of help from others — I can breathe.
Having said as much, there’s no respite, not really. Am I falling? Am I rising? Is life nothing but a Magic Mountain? Is “being” a well? Is awareness of life, awareness of free-fall?
I could not watch the State of the Union address last night. There’s the unbearable thought of thousands of Ukrainian civilians about to be slaughtered, the cities being transformed into charnel houses of wreckage, habitation of the starving.
Smooth words, the amalgamation of accolade and appeasement are repulsive. The forty mile long caravan of Russian tanks, field
artillery, and motorized infantry waiting to finish off Kyiv ought to be destroyed in detail.
Why do we Americans insist upon having a box seat to the spectacle of slaughter?
“Are you not entertained !?” – shouts the gladiator-slave to the Roman spectators in their elevated seats.
