Giving Is Getting
81
True words aren’t eloquent;
eloquent words aren’t true.
Wise men don’t need to prove their point;
men who need to prove their point aren’t wise.
The Master has no possessions.
The more he does for others,
the happier he is.
The more he gives to others,
the wealthier he is.
The Tao nourishes by not forcing.
By not dominating, the Master leads.
Tao Te Ching by Lao-tsu, trans. by Stephen Mitchell
This final verse of the Tao Te Ching impresses as an unconditional rejection of conflict, of competition as a necessary principle of life. As a child I was introduced in the second or third grade to the school yard division of the male boys into opposing teams for a recess contest of softball. Two boys who happened to have the greatest familiarity with the game, ability to pitch, throw, and bat were the captains, naturally! They in turn picked from the rest of the boys, members for their team. Perhaps this memory served as a metaphor for the entirety of my adult life. The contest between opposing teams, the-way-it-was in these United States. I hated this.
Lao-tsu points to the example of verbal sword play. That is, an almost universal practice of settling disputes by contracting a lawyer adept in rhetoric, who is prepared to overcome the opposing attorney. Winning alone matters. Speaking the truth is irrelevant.
As an adult I begrudgingly accommodated to the reality of competition in the world of work. At the same time I exercised whatever influence that I possessed to subvert this ethos of conflict, the zero sum game, that someone has to lose so that someone else can win.
The Taoist ethic, scheme of valuation assumes the unity of opposites. In other words, what superficially seems to be your competition, what stands in your way, – with sufficient respect, space can be made for collaboration and cooperation in order to achieve mutual goals.
How much preparation do I find myself making in order to prove something to others? Consider what result this seems to have over and over? Is my ego ever satisfied? Why not attempt to loosen my (imagined) grip on a situation?
To just show up!
To show up empty handed would be the style of a Master.
What if no one, simply no one insists upon dominating?
2 thoughts on “Giving Is Getting”
“What if no one, simply no one insists upon dominating?”
Humanity is a mystery. We seem to constantly believe that if we crush another person we will find satisfaction. If we acquire enough material goods we will be fulfilled. If we can just beat out the competition we will be the person we’ve always dreamed we could be.
And yet it never works, though it momentarily “feels” like it does, and so we stay with this belief regardless of the never ending failure of this strategy. There have always been wise men who we ostensibly venerate yet ultimately ignore because we have an overwhelming desire to follow our emotional desires instead of rational thought.
My cynical /pragmatic side tells me there is no end to this vicious cycle of self-destructive behavior. If we haven’t learned by now how to end needless suffering and keep authoritarian madmen from usurping power I don’t see how we ever will.
I don’t enjoy saying this. I want to believe there is hope for our species but I can find no path forward. When you and I know people who still feel that the monstrous moron occupying the White House is the savior of the world, then how can we believe there is a future for any of us?
Thank you for the verses of the Tao.
Tobin there can be an end to the vicious cycle of self-destruction for some of us. There is a way and a practice. Even so the hazard will always be present in some form. The human mammal is unstable, our sense of self by definition is precarious, fragile. As this is the so for all of us, to take care of one’s self and then to invest in resources,strategies for protection of our zone of care and influence is just prudent. I think that all of us can have a good life within the constraints of our destiny is that is what we desire. I just do not see any possibility individually or collectively to “be off the hook.” There is no paradise, and there never was.