We began our discussion on the expansive subject of “love.”  What can be said philosophically about love, or about “falling in love?”  Love is a subject commanding enormous attention, as witnessed by innumerable novels, pop ballads, movies, and the Hallmark channel.  “Falling in love” is a euphemism that is often overheard.  The expression can evoke a response of dismissal, or of exhilaration, or a shudder of dread on account of a memory of betrayal.  Unless one is alone in the woods, hermit-like, or maybe fixated upon solving an abstract problem of mathematics, if you are with others — the topic of love will arise in some form, sooner or later.  Indeed as I compose this post here in Starbucks, the music in the room happens to be Dreams by Feetwood Mac, a quintessential love song. 

For purposes of our discussion we used the introductory chapter to Why Love Hurts, A Sociological Explanation by Eva Illouz.  Illouz has published 13 books, she should know something about love.

For us the discussion developed in a stuttering fashion.  I speculate that a mixed group, male and female, in their late 60s and early 70s naturally would struggle to remember the time and the feelings attendant to when they “fell in love.”  In the following 90 minutes the exchanged ideas sharpened in thoughtful insight.   We decided to dedicate an additional session to this topic.  The introduction by Illouz presented a rich vein to be mined, and who knows, some of us, myself among them, may be inclined to purchase a copy of the book.

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Intense emotional engagement with another human being in the mode of love is precarious, a risk fraught coalition, or better expressed, a collision of two distinct personalities, two different histories.  The result could possibly be a train wreck, or a life-long work of composition, a durable relationship.  This love anthem composed by Jim Steinman expresses the exhilaration and terror of the matter.  Every time I hear the song played, –  Steinman’s poetry and the enveloping emotion of the tune, I am entranced.  So without further commentary here is the hit tune by Bonnie Tyler, covered by Exit Eden for your enjoyment.  Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Total Eclipse Of The Heart

By Exit Eden

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit lonely
And you’re never coming round

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my tears

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all the years have gone by

(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I see the look in your eyes

(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then
I fall apart

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit restless
And I dream of something wild

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit helpless
And I’m lying like a child in your arms

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit angry
And I know I’ve got to get out and cry

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit terrified
But then I see the look in your eyes

(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then
I fall apart
Turn around, bright eyes
Every now and then
I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We’ll be holding on forever
And we’ll only be making it right
‘Cause we’ll never be wrong

Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)

I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
(Forever’s gonna start tonight)

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I’m only falling apart
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

[Instrumental interlude]

(Turn around, bright eyes)
(Turn around, bright eyes)

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I know you’ll never be the boy
You always wanted to be

(Turn around)
But every now and then
I know you’ll always be the only boy
Who wanted me the way that I am

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I know there’s no one in the universe
As magical and wondrous as you

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I know there’s nothing any better
There’s nothing that I just wouldn’t do

(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We’ll be holding on forever
And we’ll only be making it right
‘Cause we’ll never be wrong

Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)

I don’t know what to do
I’m always in the dark
Living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight
(Forever’s gonna start tonight)

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I’m only falling apart
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart

(Turn around, bright eyes)
(Turn around, bright eyes)
(Turn around)

Composed by Jim Steinman