Mental Noise
I found it impossible to write this morning. My mind ruminated on the possible outcomes of the challenges represented by my to-do list for Monday. A rolling-tangle of dark anxiety was all that I could come up with. I staggered inwardly with nothing to say. Silence is preferable to adding to any readers quotient of trepidation at the slings and arrows common to all of us. I am no different than you.
Later in the day, in retrospect, I recalled the opening scene of Ridley Scott’s great tale, Gladiator. Maximus, and his legions are in Germany, on the frontier of the empire. The Emperor Marcus Aurelius is present. The troops are lined up in serried ranks in the last few minutes before Maximus gives the command to commence the bloody melee. The scene is a example of exquisite story telling. They wait. Every man in the line of battle has nothing less than everything at stake. Many will not survive to return to their families, even if victory is likely. Life and limb are weighing in the balance.
That is how I felt this morning.
Unquestionably engaging what has to be done, with the skills and experience at one’s disposal is more agreeable than the anticipation.
At conclusion of my day, this divinely beautiful song was played on the radio. That life goes on, as long as it does is a tangible victory. I suppose overcoming inner demons of self-doubt, free floating self-criticism is not unlike subduing a enraged tribe of barbarians.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9jmusgMgro
