The sage understands the connections
between himself and others and how all things
constitute one body.
He does not know how this
is brought about:
it is due to his nature.
whether he is acted upon
or is acting,
he follows the direction of heaven;

Therefore people refer to him
as a sage.

If he were distressed about his knowledge
and the limitations of his action,
and if he were to halt,
how would he be a sage?

To one who is born beautiful
men/women serve as a mirror.
If ‹others› do not tell him,
he would not know that he is beautiful.

Whether he knows it or not,
or hears it or not,
his beauty always stays the same,
and the admiration of others
will also stay the same.
This is the course of nature.

Zhuangzi, trans. by Hyun Höchsmann and Yang Guorong, Book 25 Zeyang

Understanding the connections, insight into the role of others, the opinions, the type of pigeon-holing unavoidable in all of our relationships, – is a rare gift. Typically we are swept away in torrent of perception, the many ways that others reflect an image of ourselves… To receive all of that at face value, as the default. This is an ill-advised way to live.

To be sage-like means to receive all of that with a grain-of-salt. Our first impressions of others, is mere surface, like the tip of an iceberg. Nevertheless we make a snap judgment, and all to often a “mind made up” endures. Like a grease stain on cloth.

The sage, which is an informal designation, lives day to day on a different basis. How does he or she do it? He/she is not sure how. He just knows there is no bright line of difference between the ugly and the beautiful, the soft and hard, or the bright and dark.

Convention’s mirror is a convenience that we all share.

But the direction of heaven, the course of nature is different.