The sage [insightful] regards
what is thought to be necessary
as unnecessary,
and therefore he is not at war
with himself.

The multitude of men think
what is unnecessary
is necessary,
therefore they are at war
with themselves.

Those who rely upon the strategy of war
resort to it in all their actions.
But reliance on such a war
leads to destruction.

Zhuangzi by Hyun Höchsmann and Yang Guoron, Book 32 Lie Yukou

What is my “go-to” strategy? That habit of mind/heart relied upon over and over, in the course of my life? What expectation do I insist upon? Such a question is difficult to entertain because the conclusion is certain to cause dismay.

On Wednesday evening I decided to watch the late news. I was curious to hear report of the President’s evening speech to the nation. Why deprive myself of an extra hour of rest, in order to hear news of a person who has a proven reputation for lying? Nevertheless I deprived myself of rest necessary for my well-being, to have ABC news relate that nothing new was conveyed concerning the war with Iran. Only the usual bloviating, braggadocio, to whit “‘we’ are going to bomb them back to the stone-age.”

Fooled once again! On every occasion when I insist upon the unnecessary, that is a state of affairs conjured by my imagination, – I fail to obtain it. The unnecessary is desired, even though I have no influence. And according to all past indicators, can be none other than what it is.

A liar will always lie.

There is no doubt that I do have the power to walk away from the screen, to prepare for a good nights rest!

Why feel the rift of disappointment, that internal emotional damage, – having fooled myself once again, unable to obtain what amounts to the unnecessary?