Pivot Point
Wednesday mid-morning, the intersection of State and 3rd is washed in sunlight. It is 45 degrees F. Will grass be green in a day or so?
Today, a late start on my daily writing effort. Why is that? Yesterday, bedtime I noticed that the insulin pump which I wear — no longer communicates with the Continuous blood Glucose Monitor also attached to my body. After disposing the malfunctioning pump, I attached a new device. Sometimes the tiny device takes a few minutes to “shake hands” via blue tooth signal with the glucose monitor. I fell asleep satisfied that all was well, – problem solved.
At 2AM I startled awake by a sharp sound of a alarm. My blood glucose level was dropping into a “danger zone.” I knew my
previous problem remained unsolved, the new insulin pump apparently was not exchanging information with the Continuous Glucose Monitor. Time enough to take several sugar tablets, and then wait while my body, minute by minute, absorbed the remedy and the blood glucose level rose to the normal zone.
The 2 AM pivot point: Do I panic? Do I observe then act to the best of my resources, doing what I can?
Due to past experience, (experience has a lesson attached does it not) I didn’t panic.
I couldn’t help myself. I imagined myself a Ukrainian soldier. Would I have the psychological strength, if I were the man in the basement of a wrecked house in Bakhmut, Ukraine, to refuse panic? Imagine myself a crew member of a automatic grenade launcher, quietly waiting in winter cold for sign of the Russian assault, would/could I refuse panic?
To separate oneself from immediate circumstances, and with god-like observation to take account, even to appreciate circumstances is what Nietzsche wrote about.
Not to ask, “why me?” Not to deny or to resist by any number of tactics this place which life has taken me…
I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one who makes things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth!
Some day I wish to be only a yes-sayer.
–excerpt The Gay Science, by Friedrich Nietzsche
Yesterday, Reuters published a collection of photos taken by several photojournalists on the front at Bakhmut, Ukraine. The photos were captured within several days ago. I felt moved while viewing the images. If you’d like to see all of the Reuters photos:
https://www.reuters.com/news/picture/battle-for-bakhmut-scenes-from-the-front-idUSRTSGPLTP
