Red or Blue Pill?
Wednesday comes as another “bonus” day. To be alive, in order to self-reflect is a miracle, an improbable event.
As the years click by, I attempt to assess the way I have come, to reflect upon those I have known and how circumstances have constrained us, and do so even now. Many have been taken in another direction by the current of surrounding circumstance. Some have left. I mean to say have died.
How much is responsive, as if there’s someone behind the wheel, grasping some mechanism that “makes a difference”… Might I have played my hand differently in times past? At this juncture I have little confidence that things could have been any different, could have been 
otherwise.
I have been seduced by the illusion of control, or said with a sharper, eagle-eyed metaphor: free – will. That I am “will” I cannot deny. What am I – if not a rolling mass (or mess) of desire? Will yes, but “free” seems a wildly impossible ideal.
Still that is a desideratum which I can hardly do without! To be and to be free is “the conundrum”!
Let there be music! In the ecstasy of melody and lyric but for a moment I can glimpse what is meant by freedom! A respite from the madness that swirls around us.
Love Will Find A Way by Pablo Cruise.
