Drunkenness & Longing
I am always surprised at how quickly things can snap out of control. I remember that summer afternoon. The image remains; seated in the warm sun, basking in the hospitality of the backyard of two friends. Jim was a traveling salesperson. He traveled from North Carolina to the Midwest, peddling sets of wooden-handled screw drivers to car dealerships, to manufacturing firms, to anyone who used tools to earn a living. Jim kept his inventory the the trunk of his Cadillac. He had “the gift of gab,” exuding a aura of ease in the presence of others. I am sure that he did well as a sales person.
I do not remember how Laura and I made the acquaintance of Jim and Liz. I do remember the fabulous seafood dinners which they’d host for the four of us; the big iron skillet filled with a mound of shrimp. Jim had made the purchase from a roadside vendor while visiting a seaport, maybe Biloxi, Mississippi? A jumbo shrimp fry with hush puppies, all you could eat — heaven?!
So there I was with a senior member of our church leadership, making a call to promote the advantages of becoming a “member” of the church community. Enveloped in the tactile warmth of a fine day as well as the emotional warmth/good will of hospitality, so much that words would fail to encompass, — my partner makes a “wild hare” pejorative comment about the bottle of beer that our host was consuming.
It was like a crack of lightening, on what seemed a cloudless day. Where do such obsessions come from? From what depths do such dark fixations arise? The sight of the beer bottle was trigger enough. If you were raised in a Christian fundamentalist church, especially those situated in the South, you’d easily recognize the list of prohibited behaviors. No need for me to go into the hot list here. Sex, alcohol, the status of women figure prominently; trip wires so intensely felt, that one is willing to “go to war” with others (who otherwise might be your friend) when judged to have violated the “word of the Lord.”
“Thou shalt not enjoy,” is all that you need to know about fundamentalist theology in all of its forms.
I still shiver. How easy it is for us to destroy others because we perceive them to be alien to the way of life which we approve.
Is not our common, effortless enjoyment of all this world and this life has to offer, enough? Shouldn’t I concentrate to hear the other speaking; shouldn’t I just shut-the-fuck-up and listen?
