After a mild month, the last days of December are descending towards winter.  Yesterday was the 29th, a cold, breezy day with light icy rain.

Our family gathered at our oldest daughters home to remember our grand-daughter, baby Kai Ruby Lewis-King who was born one year ago on the 29th.  She was still-born after months of eager anticipation of her arrival.

The grief was numbing,

particularly for our daughter Laurie, and her partner Sonia, the mothers.  There are no words to describe what it is like to feel the weight of a still-born child.

Laurie and Sonia wanted to remember baby Kai with a gathering of family for a meal, and a project involving everyone.

Of course the hours that we spent were filled with extended conversation, and a lot of laughter.  Is there enough time to tell all of the stories, to share all of the feelings that have risen along our journey?

The project involved using chunks of modeling clay, just like we all played with when we were children.  The clay was rolled into long strands which were then combined into multicolored twisted segments.  We rolled the segments between our palms to form round balls about the size of a small marble.  These were then

pierced with a sharp wooden skewer.  Upon completion of the bead making process, the skewered beads are baked in a hot oven for a few minutes until hard.

A container of hand-made beads will be donated to a

children’s hospital.  The young patients will each be given a colored bead after completing each session of treatment.  When they have finished their treatment program, they will be given the necklace of beads as a symbol of their crossing that finish line of accomplishment.

A satisfying meal followed the bead making project.

Then everyone stepped outside to launch a miniature hot air balloon into the dark sky.  The cold wind gusted around us, and with some struggle finally the little patch of fuel ignited to heat the air in the paper envelope.  With family members steadying the fragile balloon, it was ready.  We let go.  It floated slowly, silently, and with the breeze over the roof top, over the trees, higher and higher.  We watched it for some minutes.

The spirit of Kai, our grand daughter brings us together in grief and in hope.

We will always remember her.