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EVERY ANGEL IS TERRIFYING

EVERY ANGEL IS TERRIFYING

Duino Elegies–Ranier Maria Rilke

Clearing Space

Clearing Space

June 7, 2018 Jerry King Comments 2 comments

Doing philosophy is a revolutionary activity.  In these times of discord, suspicion, verbal assault, and sometimes overt expression of hatred–anyone who disciplines him or herself to mindfully exercise reason, speaking and writing with clarity is a subversive.  Nothing is more antithetical to the mayhem, the pandemonium of “warfare,” than thoughtful communication.

A family member shared with me these principles for dialog between persons who have individual and cultural differences.  Strictly speaking that includes all of us.  Those who say they have no hard feelings toward anyone, are in a state of denial.  Life with others entails friction.  Sartre, famously stated, “others are hell.”

I offer three principles that are foundational for dialog:

  1. Listen in order to understand.  Activate your imagination to understand the point of view of the speaker.  Skillful listening, empathy is the prime principle.
  2. Respond with a question to evoke clarification.  Repeat what you think you heard in your own words.  This opens space for the speaker to understand the working of your mind.  A good question is a gesture of good will.
  3. Do not compose your reply while the other is speaking.  Wait. Lose yourself in their story.  (This is the hard one for me.  Who doesn’t love to hear themselves talk?)

These are three principles for creating a space for dialog.  The space has to be cleared of my own judgments, prejudices, bias, which honestly speaking, always contaminate, skew my understanding of what the other person is saying.  It is safe to assume that the other person is acting and speaking to the best of their ability, for my benefit.

Practice, practice, practice.

It is not my job to change anyone’s mind.

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2 thoughts on “Clearing Space”

  1. Nancy says:
    June 7, 2018 at 9:30 AM

    If thinking and acting to the highest engagement of one’s mental capacity is now to be defined as “subversive,” you already have admitted defeat for the human race! “Subversion refers to a process by which the values and principles of a system in place are contradicted or reversed, an attempt to transform the established social order and its structures of power, authority, hierarchy, and norm. — Wikipedia” So no philosopher worth his salt is going to allow that the practice of blurring the line between reality and wishful thinking now has become the normative “established social order” to be subverted.

    Rally, Jerry! Irrationality, rudeness and discord — not the fruits of civilization — are the subversive elements.

    Reply
    1. admin says:
      June 7, 2018 at 10:44 AM

      I think that you have accurately understood my point of view. I do not know if the outbreak of incivility is a defacto defeat for the human race. I doubt that is knowable even to a god. Time will tell. The official rhetoric about “American values” and the ersatz patriotic public ritual leave me cold. Like you, I do not think this is progress toward civilization. Yet it appears to be the status quo. Thus, the philosophers are the subversives. I am reminded that Socrates was killed by Athens.

      Reply

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